Professional schizophrenia

There are times when I wonder if I'm the only person who suffers from a professional schizophrenia.

A have a voice in my head that tells me that I can do my job and do it well. That what I'm doing is worthwhile and valued. It's the voice that asks "Why not me?" when I start to think about maybe being a product manager or a team lead.

Then there is the other voice that is ready with a laundry list of reasons why I'm just a total screw-up who is one step away from unemployment. Unfortunately this voice is louder than the other, never misses a mistake and has been hyper tuned after years in QA.

Today was one of those days when both voices were going at it. A note of praise for a tech briefing is met with scorn for I felt it should have been done sooner and without so many re-writes. Live Meeting scheduling mishaps with the Outlook plug in and my overview of the web site redesign compounds the feeling that I'm a hack.

Needless to say, working on better self talk is high on my to do list